Creating connection and belonging through a thinking environment

1. Attention. Listening with respect, interest and fascination.

2. Incisive Questions: Removing assumptions that limit ideas.

3. Equality: Treating each other as thinking peers. This is demonstrated through giving

equal turns and attention and by keeping agreements and boundaries.

4. Appreciation: Practicing the five-to-one ratio of appreciation to criticism.

5. Ease: Offering freedom from rush or urgency

6. Encouragement: Moving beyond competition.

7. Feelings: Allowing sufficient emotional release to restore thinking

8. Information: Providing a full and accurate picture of reality.

9. Place: Creating a physical environment that says to people ‘You matter.’

10. Diversity: Adding quality because of the differences between us.

Nancy Kline: Time to Think; Listening to ignite the human mind.

I’m sure most leaders, if asked, would state they value connection and belonging in their schools, what might be harder to answer is how we visibly create the conditions for them to evolve. What might your school feel like if everyone, from staff to students, felt truly heard?

For example, imagine a leadership meeting where the agenda starts not with updates or data, but with a moment of genuine attention, a round where each person shares one insight or challenge without interruption. The tone shifts immediately. People listen, rather than wait to speak. Ideas surface that might otherwise have been lost. A sense of shared ownership grows, not through a new policy, but through presence.

It could be the same in the classroom, where a teacher invites quieter students to share their thoughts in writing before discussion begins. The room becomes calmer, more thoughtful. Students who rarely raise a hand begin to find their voice. The message is subtle but

powerful. It says your thinking matters here.

In both spaces, the staffroom and the classroom, belonging isn’t an abstract concept. It’s

something created in the small, intentional acts of listening and noticing that tell people they

are seen, heard, and valued.

As you reflect on your own organisation, where does culture align with Kline’s thinking environment? How would these components, if embraced, support a sense of connection and belonging amongst all members of your school community?

Nancy Kline reminds us that:

“The best conditions for thinking, if you really stop and notice, are not tense. They are gentle.

They are quiet. They are unrushed. They are stimulating but not competitive. They are

encouraging. They are paradoxically both rigorous and nimble.”

Nancy Klein p 37

Perhaps one of the biggest challenges as leaders in schools is creating an environment that is unrushed? Where there is genuine space to pause, connect and listen deeply. It’s in those pauses that belonging takes root.

If there’s one thought to take away from this blog today, it’s that belonging doesn’t happen by accident. It grows from how we listen, how we notice, and how we create space for others think. I’d love to hear what resonates for you. Connect with me on LinkedIn or drop me a message at lynda@making-it-happen.co.uk